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happychemistLife is nice and slow while I'm at home. I've been reading a few books here and there. I've developed a taste for mysteries these days.
And the TV! Oh my. There are simply too many shows on. How does any one pick out what to watch? I think I shall stick with watching TV shows on DVD.
Well, if you're curious, I've been writing a new story. This one features a medley of Jane Austen characters...working in a chemistry lab! (I know what you're thinking...but :p) There are six storylines, one for each of JA's complete major novels. And the one I've started with (This should come as a surprised to anyone who knows me :p) is Emma.
I'm not going to post much of it, but I wanted to share a little: (more than 1,600 words)
“Does any one else see the problem with this!?” Emma exclaimed frustratedly.
“If she’s happy dating him, I hardly see the problem,” Elinor replied.
“Happy? She’s on Cloud Nine,” Catherine supplemented.
“Besides,” Annie said dangerously, “I hardly see why this is any business of yours.”
Emma saw a flash of resentment in her friend’s eye. “I’m just thinking of her career.”
“It’s always a career with you.” Annie observed quietly.
Emma turned to meet eyes with Annie. Her stomach fluttered.
Catherine went on, trying to dissolve the growing tension between the two postdocs. “We’ve had several women in the lab able to function with a man in their lives, including you, Emma.”
“Only until I can get rid of him,” Emma retorted.
“Ouch,” Greg said, from the doorway. “Not many women respond to me that way...”
Emma shrank into herself, almost embarrassed. “I’m not ‘many women’,” she supplied, weakly.
“Yes, because Ms. Thing here is special,” Annie replied.
Everybody in the conference room stood in shocked silence. Annie had never spoken with such bitterness.
“I know what you did,” Annie said in a low voice to Emma.
Emma tried to keep control over the situation. “Maybe we should take this elsewhere.”
“No. I. Don’t. Want. To,” Annie held her chin up higher. “Let’s talk about here. Postdocs are supposed to teach grad students new things. I think it’s time to teach them the most important lesson,” she said defiantly.
“We’d overhear it anyway...” Catherine said wryly, trying to lighten the mood. She moved to break the intense eye contact between the two women, but Elinor, who was wiser, held her arm back.
“This isn’t something I want to teach...” Emma began.
“Oh, and why not? You were more than ready to teach it to Harriet a few seconds ago,” Annie replied. “Why don’t we tell everybody now?” she turned to the occupants of the conference room.
“Tell everybody what? That I saved you years of angst over an overgrown selfish brat? That I managed to help you make yourself into a brilliant, successful scientist? Sure, we can tell them that,” Emma began.
“You mean how you kept me and Frederick apart, even when we both made it clear that we were ready to grow up and be together? That as a result of your actions I’ve been miserable for the past seven years?”
“He broke it off with you. He didn’t want to marry you anyhow.”
“You told him to do it. And...and I don’t care! I don’t care that he wasn’t ready! It was our problem, not yours. And then you kept it from me that he was absolutely miserable without me, even when I was completely miserable without him.”
“You weren’t good for each other.”
“And how do you know that? Why is it that you know best? You always act like the superior one, but really, you know what? You don’t know better. You’re delusional...and arrogant. Everybody has a right to choose. And just because they choose differently, they’re not stupider or lamer than you. They’re just different. You have to realize there are other people in the world with different ambitions than yours. Not everybody wants to grow up to be a heartless textbook.”
Emma tried to say something in reply, but the coldness in Annie’s eyes had her completely paralyzed. Annie’s words stung more than Emma wanted to admit. They burned in her heart and she felt...she felt a loneliness and desolation she’d never felt before.
“Talk to me when you’re ready to apologize,” Annie moved past Greg out the door.
Greg watched the woman admiringly, turning back to the conference room. “An Oscar-worthy moment,” he said pleasantly, trying to dissolve the moment. “Come on,” he said with more gravity. “Movie’s over.”
The others quickly vacated the conference room.
She did not know whether to cry or to...she was at a loss for words. For ideas. Annie yelled at her. Annie looked at her with wild hatred and resentment. Her best friend Annie, with whom she’d lived for almost seven years. Who was such a part of her that she didn’t even notice. Who left a big gaping hurting hole with her words. Heartless textbook?
Emma sank down in shock in her chair as Greg came around the table. “I take it Annie’s found out something that you didn’t expect her to,” Greg began.
Emma tried to reason it out. “...I care for her. And she’s so smart, and hard-working. I didn’t want to see her throw it all away...I like her. I just wanted what was best...”
Was she really so horrible? Was she a horrible friend?
Greg stayed silent.
She felt the tension in the air and turned to the only other important person in her life. “...so now you know the whole truth. What do you think, Greg?” she asked, bravely. “I’ve already interfered. I’ve already messed up. And I still think that if I had to do it all over again, I would. Berate me. It’s your turn to dump me as a friend.”
He did not answer at first. Disappointment in her, sympathy for her strange predicament and...confusion waged a tiny battle in his mind. He began carefully, “I think that you had the best of intentions. You acted the way you thought would result in the best lifestyle for your friend. But you forgot that your friend is mature enough to make the decision for herself, and that her life and her future happiness is not something you have a right to dictate and change. I am disappointed that you didn’t realize that, but...well. Even you, Emma, must make mistakes.”
She tried to smile wryly in response to his remarks. “But what if she made the wrong choice?”
“Annie’s pretty smart. I think that she’d make the right one for her. Beyond that, well...people deal with their own problems, and they make their own mistakes. Let’s put it in terms that you understand. You can call it...life research. You try something; if it works you go on to the next step. And if it doesn’t, well...you check out your options and choose one of those. But a good scientist never has their decisions made for them.”
Emma smiled half-heartedly at Greg. “How did you get so smart in the ways of research?”
Greg smiled back.
She looked away uncomfortably. “...I didn’t mean it. The remark about getting rid of you.”
“No, I’m sure you did, in your own strange twisted ‘get on with my career’ way,” he said wryly.
“You’re still here.”
“I’m...family,” he replied helplessly.
He couldn’t explain why he was still there. He was not entirely comfortable with the strange mixture of feelings that had settled as a cloud on his mind. He could feel...more. And hurt from it, apparently.
“Family...” she repeated awkwardly.
“If anything,” Greg cleared his throat and began carefully, delicately, “I think this experience has at least reaffirmed your own beliefs in what you expect out of your future, and what you need for your happiness. It’s evident that you’re perfectly fine on your own...”
Emma looked up to meet him in the eye. She wanted to say something. She had no idea what. It almost felt like she wanted to contradict him, but well...he’d spoken the truth. She needed no one.
His eyes nailed her to her spot though. It was that solid, intense, inscrutable stare that affected his audiences so deeply. She could not understand what she felt, only that she felt unhappy. Her heart beat heavier and her breath quickened. She felt that she had stepped up to one of the most important moments of her life.
But she didn’t say a word. She did not know how long they sat there. Later, she wouldn’t even remember how the time passed, what she had thought about, or even the specific pain that she felt.
She only knew that she was unhappy.
Finally, Greg looked away. He cleared his throat. “I’m going away,” he said in terse gruff tones.
Emma stood out of her chair. “Pardon?”
He cleared his throat and met her eye again, speaking this time in more certain casual tones. “I’m going away. We finished filming today. In a week, I’ll be in Egypt filming my next project.”
“Egypt?”
“So you get your wish after all, Emma.”
Emma smiled but didn’t mean it. “I guess so.”
The silence drove him crazy.
“I’ll be rather busy the next few days.”
“To be sure.”
“So I’ll just say goodbye now.”
“Now?” she said, somewhat shocked. “Right. Well,” Emma offered her hand, mortified. “You’re better off without me anyhow. All I’ll do is interfere and ruin your life...” she joked lamely she looked at her feet.
“Don’t...” he reached to touch her cheek.
She felt her face flushing. Thoughts tried to form, but they just couldn’t. Her lips parted...they met eyes again, and Emma felt her heart beat faster. She turned away. “Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again some time.”
“I’m sure you will.”
He turned to leave. Emma felt it again. The feeling that something important in her life was just about to happen.
“Greg. Wait,” her voice was rusty with...something.
He turned back her.
She wanted to say something. Forcing her voice beyond the barrier of awkwardness, she said the only thing she could: “I do like you.”
He walked back into the room, and took her hands in his warm, sure grip. “I like you too,” he smiled warmly. He seemed to be on the cusp of saying something. He looked at her hands intently, and brought them up to his lips, but dropped them. “You’re family,” he smiled, casually teasing her chin.
Then he turned around, and walked out the door without a backward glance.
And the TV! Oh my. There are simply too many shows on. How does any one pick out what to watch? I think I shall stick with watching TV shows on DVD.
Well, if you're curious, I've been writing a new story. This one features a medley of Jane Austen characters...working in a chemistry lab! (I know what you're thinking...but :p) There are six storylines, one for each of JA's complete major novels. And the one I've started with (This should come as a surprised to anyone who knows me :p) is Emma.
I'm not going to post much of it, but I wanted to share a little: (more than 1,600 words)
“Does any one else see the problem with this!?” Emma exclaimed frustratedly.
“If she’s happy dating him, I hardly see the problem,” Elinor replied.
“Happy? She’s on Cloud Nine,” Catherine supplemented.
“Besides,” Annie said dangerously, “I hardly see why this is any business of yours.”
Emma saw a flash of resentment in her friend’s eye. “I’m just thinking of her career.”
“It’s always a career with you.” Annie observed quietly.
Emma turned to meet eyes with Annie. Her stomach fluttered.
Catherine went on, trying to dissolve the growing tension between the two postdocs. “We’ve had several women in the lab able to function with a man in their lives, including you, Emma.”
“Only until I can get rid of him,” Emma retorted.
“Ouch,” Greg said, from the doorway. “Not many women respond to me that way...”
Emma shrank into herself, almost embarrassed. “I’m not ‘many women’,” she supplied, weakly.
“Yes, because Ms. Thing here is special,” Annie replied.
Everybody in the conference room stood in shocked silence. Annie had never spoken with such bitterness.
“I know what you did,” Annie said in a low voice to Emma.
Emma tried to keep control over the situation. “Maybe we should take this elsewhere.”
“No. I. Don’t. Want. To,” Annie held her chin up higher. “Let’s talk about here. Postdocs are supposed to teach grad students new things. I think it’s time to teach them the most important lesson,” she said defiantly.
“We’d overhear it anyway...” Catherine said wryly, trying to lighten the mood. She moved to break the intense eye contact between the two women, but Elinor, who was wiser, held her arm back.
“This isn’t something I want to teach...” Emma began.
“Oh, and why not? You were more than ready to teach it to Harriet a few seconds ago,” Annie replied. “Why don’t we tell everybody now?” she turned to the occupants of the conference room.
“Tell everybody what? That I saved you years of angst over an overgrown selfish brat? That I managed to help you make yourself into a brilliant, successful scientist? Sure, we can tell them that,” Emma began.
“You mean how you kept me and Frederick apart, even when we both made it clear that we were ready to grow up and be together? That as a result of your actions I’ve been miserable for the past seven years?”
“He broke it off with you. He didn’t want to marry you anyhow.”
“You told him to do it. And...and I don’t care! I don’t care that he wasn’t ready! It was our problem, not yours. And then you kept it from me that he was absolutely miserable without me, even when I was completely miserable without him.”
“You weren’t good for each other.”
“And how do you know that? Why is it that you know best? You always act like the superior one, but really, you know what? You don’t know better. You’re delusional...and arrogant. Everybody has a right to choose. And just because they choose differently, they’re not stupider or lamer than you. They’re just different. You have to realize there are other people in the world with different ambitions than yours. Not everybody wants to grow up to be a heartless textbook.”
Emma tried to say something in reply, but the coldness in Annie’s eyes had her completely paralyzed. Annie’s words stung more than Emma wanted to admit. They burned in her heart and she felt...she felt a loneliness and desolation she’d never felt before.
“Talk to me when you’re ready to apologize,” Annie moved past Greg out the door.
Greg watched the woman admiringly, turning back to the conference room. “An Oscar-worthy moment,” he said pleasantly, trying to dissolve the moment. “Come on,” he said with more gravity. “Movie’s over.”
The others quickly vacated the conference room.
She did not know whether to cry or to...she was at a loss for words. For ideas. Annie yelled at her. Annie looked at her with wild hatred and resentment. Her best friend Annie, with whom she’d lived for almost seven years. Who was such a part of her that she didn’t even notice. Who left a big gaping hurting hole with her words. Heartless textbook?
Emma sank down in shock in her chair as Greg came around the table. “I take it Annie’s found out something that you didn’t expect her to,” Greg began.
Emma tried to reason it out. “...I care for her. And she’s so smart, and hard-working. I didn’t want to see her throw it all away...I like her. I just wanted what was best...”
Was she really so horrible? Was she a horrible friend?
Greg stayed silent.
She felt the tension in the air and turned to the only other important person in her life. “...so now you know the whole truth. What do you think, Greg?” she asked, bravely. “I’ve already interfered. I’ve already messed up. And I still think that if I had to do it all over again, I would. Berate me. It’s your turn to dump me as a friend.”
He did not answer at first. Disappointment in her, sympathy for her strange predicament and...confusion waged a tiny battle in his mind. He began carefully, “I think that you had the best of intentions. You acted the way you thought would result in the best lifestyle for your friend. But you forgot that your friend is mature enough to make the decision for herself, and that her life and her future happiness is not something you have a right to dictate and change. I am disappointed that you didn’t realize that, but...well. Even you, Emma, must make mistakes.”
She tried to smile wryly in response to his remarks. “But what if she made the wrong choice?”
“Annie’s pretty smart. I think that she’d make the right one for her. Beyond that, well...people deal with their own problems, and they make their own mistakes. Let’s put it in terms that you understand. You can call it...life research. You try something; if it works you go on to the next step. And if it doesn’t, well...you check out your options and choose one of those. But a good scientist never has their decisions made for them.”
Emma smiled half-heartedly at Greg. “How did you get so smart in the ways of research?”
Greg smiled back.
She looked away uncomfortably. “...I didn’t mean it. The remark about getting rid of you.”
“No, I’m sure you did, in your own strange twisted ‘get on with my career’ way,” he said wryly.
“You’re still here.”
“I’m...family,” he replied helplessly.
He couldn’t explain why he was still there. He was not entirely comfortable with the strange mixture of feelings that had settled as a cloud on his mind. He could feel...more. And hurt from it, apparently.
“Family...” she repeated awkwardly.
“If anything,” Greg cleared his throat and began carefully, delicately, “I think this experience has at least reaffirmed your own beliefs in what you expect out of your future, and what you need for your happiness. It’s evident that you’re perfectly fine on your own...”
Emma looked up to meet him in the eye. She wanted to say something. She had no idea what. It almost felt like she wanted to contradict him, but well...he’d spoken the truth. She needed no one.
His eyes nailed her to her spot though. It was that solid, intense, inscrutable stare that affected his audiences so deeply. She could not understand what she felt, only that she felt unhappy. Her heart beat heavier and her breath quickened. She felt that she had stepped up to one of the most important moments of her life.
But she didn’t say a word. She did not know how long they sat there. Later, she wouldn’t even remember how the time passed, what she had thought about, or even the specific pain that she felt.
She only knew that she was unhappy.
Finally, Greg looked away. He cleared his throat. “I’m going away,” he said in terse gruff tones.
Emma stood out of her chair. “Pardon?”
He cleared his throat and met her eye again, speaking this time in more certain casual tones. “I’m going away. We finished filming today. In a week, I’ll be in Egypt filming my next project.”
“Egypt?”
“So you get your wish after all, Emma.”
Emma smiled but didn’t mean it. “I guess so.”
The silence drove him crazy.
“I’ll be rather busy the next few days.”
“To be sure.”
“So I’ll just say goodbye now.”
“Now?” she said, somewhat shocked. “Right. Well,” Emma offered her hand, mortified. “You’re better off without me anyhow. All I’ll do is interfere and ruin your life...” she joked lamely she looked at her feet.
“Don’t...” he reached to touch her cheek.
She felt her face flushing. Thoughts tried to form, but they just couldn’t. Her lips parted...they met eyes again, and Emma felt her heart beat faster. She turned away. “Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again some time.”
“I’m sure you will.”
He turned to leave. Emma felt it again. The feeling that something important in her life was just about to happen.
“Greg. Wait,” her voice was rusty with...something.
He turned back her.
She wanted to say something. Forcing her voice beyond the barrier of awkwardness, she said the only thing she could: “I do like you.”
He walked back into the room, and took her hands in his warm, sure grip. “I like you too,” he smiled warmly. He seemed to be on the cusp of saying something. He looked at her hands intently, and brought them up to his lips, but dropped them. “You’re family,” he smiled, casually teasing her chin.
Then he turned around, and walked out the door without a backward glance.
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*standing ovation*
Date: 2005-03-31 11:41 pm (UTC)Well anyway, Keep Writing!
Re: *standing ovation*
Date: 2005-04-02 02:04 am (UTC)*jumps up and down*
Date: 2005-03-31 11:43 pm (UTC)Re: *jumps up and down*
Date: 2005-04-02 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-02 02:03 am (UTC)Not a question of diligence: procrastination :P
no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 12:32 am (UTC)Man, you and Amy, with the spoiling :O
Though... how long do you think it's going to take you to finish the story? Because if it's going to take a while, maybe I should start reading these snippets...
Hee. But YAY!, with the writing :)
no subject
Date: 2005-04-02 02:06 am (UTC)And I don't intend to post any of the Emma story until I'm at least halfway through the Annie story that follows...
no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-02 02:07 am (UTC)I try and I try on STYLE. But it's been SO LONG since I've looked at it...I read over some parts and blush!
Dude! Slap some warnings on next time . . .
Date: 2005-04-01 01:50 am (UTC)Poor Annie, then Emma, now Greg. Gah!
But so well written, Crystal. I like very much. And you know what that means . . . *creeps forward with whip* Crack! Write more! Heh.
Re: Dude! Slap some warnings on next time . . .
Date: 2005-04-02 02:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 04:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-02 02:08 am (UTC)Squee!
Date: 2005-04-03 04:37 am (UTC)Greg, though. The only face I could see there was Greg Wise (Willoughby from Emma Thompson's S&S)! Is he meant to be Knightley? (Yumm, anyway!)
Re: Squee!
Date: 2005-04-03 07:00 am (UTC)The snippet I posted is actually quite a ways into the Emma plotline, and it meets with my Persuasion narration at some point...I wanted to post a scene that I felt was better developed; the rest of my writing thus far is quite sketchy at best!
Re: Squee!
Date: 2005-04-03 07:24 am (UTC)Re: Squee!
Date: 2005-04-03 07:40 am (UTC)